Updated: Apr 6, 2022
Do you want to be an LGBTQIA+ ally and you just don’t know how? Today we discuss the importance of straight allies, especially when discrimination against the LGBTQIA+ community is still so common.
Yass, Jesus! is hosted by Danny Franzese and Azariah Southworth. Our producers are Ross Murray and Meredith Paulley. Sound, music, and post-production by Chris Heckman. Special thanks to Sophie Serrano and Sam Isfan.
Yass, Jesus! is brought to you by Audity. Audity execs are Ryann Lauckner, Steve Michaels, and Jessica Bustillos.
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Daniel: [00:00:00] Hello, Kings and Queens and in betweens, sinner saints, I don't know if I is or I ain'ts. Welcome to another supportive and allied episode of Yass jesus. I am Daniel Franzese and as always I'm here at my supportive ally...
Azariah: You can lean on me. It's Azariah Southworth.
Daniel: I will Azzie because here at Yass Jesus, we believe..
Azariah: God loves the straights. Just as much as the queers. Wait, he does?
Daniel: We'll let it side, but the queers need the straights to help us get through this scary world. We need you, you're part of the family. So come on in. Everyone's welcome. Sit down on the pew, pew, pew, you're accepted and affirmed here as we sit down and listen to Gay Christian News.
Azariah: You might have seen this on the Yass Jesus Tik TOK or Instagram, but I'm going to give you the full story here.
Daniel: Oh, spill it, girl. Spill it. And if you aren't following us in the tik tik or Instagram, you're only getting half the story.
Azariah: This comes to us from Don Nanda. [00:01:00] And no, I will not apologize for that accent. This news was leaked that city point Christian college in Brisbane, Australia was requiring parents to sign an enrollment contract that refers to homosexuality as a sin and includes it in a list of other immoral behaviors. And it's all the hits such as beastiality, incest, and pedophilia.
Daniel: They love to love to throw those around. You know a change.org petition has gathered over 100,000 signatures calling on city point to abolish the enrollment contract. Now remember our friend Anthony van brown? Well, he has some choice words too. Here's what he said. 'City point Christian college has been a source of tragedy, trauma and harm.'
Azariah: Um, we do not mince our words here, honey. Well, on the 3rd of February, city point came out with a statement. Families will no longer be [00:02:00] asked to agree to that contract for their child to be enrolled in the college. Principal pastor Brian Mulheran said 'we deeply regret that some students feel that they would be discriminated against because of their sexuality or gender identity. And I apologize to them and their families on behalf of the college.'
Daniel: See, this is what we need to see from Walsh university, Liberty university, a lot of these other organizations out there that, uh, portray themselves as welcoming and then slap things like that horrible little mandate around. And then, you know, this is a nice moment where the pastor has come forward, heard the cries of the community and has tried to make amends.
Azariah: Well, it's important to note because I don't mince my words either. Pastor Brian, this is not his first time poking the bear. So learn your lesson, honey. Or we will bite.
Daniel: Poking bears. And what got you into this trouble in the first place?
Azariah: There's [00:03:00] more. As stated previously, the college does not, and will not discriminate against any student because of their sexuality or gender identity. It is essential to our faith that being gay or transgender in no way diminishes a person's humanity or dignity in God's eyes.
Daniel: Now see, there we go. So that's a very important statement to it. That is an affirming statement that I think can help a lot of people to hear and help, you know, People come to terms with the fact that we're here, we're queer, get used to it.
Azariah: Yeah. I mean, I'm happy to hear him say those words because that is an important statement. And it's the right thing to move forward with. I just hope that they implemented honey, let's see it in action. Not just in words.
Daniel: Show me honey, show it to me. Let me see.
Azariah: Yeah, but they also made sure to play the victim in the statement as well, as they do. So it's not a hundred percent rosy with me.
Daniel: Look, [00:04:00] I'm happy to see some. Amy kind of change. That's what we're trying to do here at Yass Jesus. And that's what we want our community to demand is that we move forward and we need the help of our allies. And I see here, somebody who's trying, and to me, I think that is a moment of beauty and something to be grateful for.
Azariah: We'll give one flower.
Daniel: Okay. You get one flower from Azariah. Speaking of flowers, if there's something a little extra, you want to give God some flowers about and added to our praise report, you can just come to yassjesuspod.com, scroll down to the bottom, leave us a little voicemail or send us a note. Um, and will hallelujah along for that gratitude for you. And then if you have a little something you want us to add to our prayer lists, if you want to add some extra boost in your prayer, if you want to go for that Supreme ultra gas, when you're choosing which gas you want in your prayers, come to us and we will pump you full of prayer requests joy. So we're going to start with a prayer [00:05:00] request. This is, this needs a little gas in the tank Azzie, and this comes to us from Jess. 'Hey guys, I just want to say thank you for lifting my prayer up a few months ago and that...' oh, hi, Jess 'and then I found a church that has become home. It is so cool to be a part of this community.' We can't agree more. 'I just wondered if you could lift this prayer up for me, please.' Uh, see Azzie, prayer works, so Jess is back for more. 'Tonight I was at a talk at my Christian union at the uni where we had a discussion about ethics. I knew going into this room would be challenging as there would be many different views and opinions. And as I was sitting there listening to this guy talk about abortion and gender identity and how it was all supposedly wrong, I felt such heartache. It hurt That these people in the room, some of whom I have a lot of respect for and even friends with would judge me for my sexuality, would judge my friends who have had abortions and so on. And sitting in that room, I just found it so [00:06:00] ironic at the quoting of loving thy neighbor yet all judging people. All I could think about was the sermon you guys gave recently on Romans one. And I would really appreciate prayer for more compassion in that congregation. Much love, Jess.'
Jess, see, I love that you're not coming out of this with anger. Your feelings are hurt as they should be, but I think that this is a great opportunity for you to get that message going in the community. We've talked about this before and you know, this episode is how to be a straight ally and how to be an ally in general and, you know, express your feelings to some of your friends, you know, let them, let some of your friends know who were in that room that might've had, uh, abortion or gender issues know that you support them and love them for who they are. Because it starts with you. And once it gets around, hopefully there'll be some changes like we saw in the gay Christian news, you know, little, little by little, but we will definitely keep that in prayer, Jess. Azzie do you have anything to add?
Azariah: No, just keep on showing up [00:07:00] and being the witness in the spaces that need it, but when those spaces are no longer safe space, safe space for you, knowing when to exit is also healthy too. Um, but I'm glad that you're there to, um, to be a witness and we will keep you in our prayers.
Daniel: Yes thank you, Jess. And we have a praise report.
Azariah: This comes to us from Simon and it's short and sweet. I am grateful for my uniqueness.
Daniel: Oh, I love that. I'm grateful for my queerness. You know, and I think that that makes that something that I feel like makes me unique as well. Simon, I'm so glad to hear from you. Azzie, you're a unique individual, you're grateful for your uniqueness.
Azariah: Thank you. I think that's it. Sometimes it's just those small things and those short and sweet things to be thankful for that can give us the boost that we need to be, uh, to get through our day. So Simon, we celebrate your uniqueness as well.
Daniel: I love it. Thank you for that food for thought and we'll be right back with some more with the [00:08:00] scripture of the day. Hey, we're back and it's time for the scripture of the day [repeat 3x] it's soul food. Lord thank God there's only one of these. It's the scripture of the day.
Azariah: This comes to us from Proverbs chapter 18, verse 24, some friends play at friendship but a true friend sticks closer than one's nearest kin.
Daniel: Oh, I feel like that should be in an Irish accent. It's like some friends play at friendship, but our true friend sticks closer than one's nearest kin. Like we're going to like cheers. If you don't remember the Proverbs 18:24 Azzie, like, I love it. That's good. You're my friend Azzie and I love you. I wish everybody the kind of friendship, uh, that Azzie and I share and, um, you know, as queer people, you know, we need, uh, allies and we need people in our lives, um, out there who can help fill in those roles of [00:09:00] family. And listen, we know we have more than a few straight people out there listening to Yass jesus. I mean, we've done the analytics people. We don't just sit here and be funny and tell you about Jesus. We got to do work. We got numbers we gotta crunch and we've gotten uh, quite a few prayer requests and, uh, praise reports from some of our, uh, hetero friends.
Azariah: And the heteros are not upset-eros in our little queer community. And we're glad you're here. We're happy you're listening to our jokes and doing the Bible wondering with us.
Daniel: And now we want to talk directly to you, our straight friends. It was almost hard to say. Our street friends, our family, our coworkers, and fellow Christians. Uh, today we want to discuss how you can be a straight ally.
Maybe you don't think you need it, but I bet someone in your life does. The data has proven that straight people. Know other straight people. Coincidence. And straight people are also the best people to reach other straight people. [00:10:00] It's cause they have that status. Look, the LGBTQ community has been feeling a little under attack lately. Let's be honest, in so many different ways. There are state laws attacking us. There are real physical acts and assaults, especially on the trans community. And there is still family rejection and discrimination in housing and employment.
Azariah: Yeah, we get, we get the DMS here at Yass Jesus about it. And we need as much allyship and support as we can get. And you are an ally, so let's make you the best ally you can be.
Daniel: Go out and get em, kiddo. We're going to give you some great everyday practical tips on how to be a good ally to the LGBTQ community. You could use these tips at home, at work, in a church at the freaking grocery store or in front of a state legislative hearing.
Azariah: Okay. Okay. Give me just the tip.
Daniel: Okay. Here's your first tip. [00:11:00] Listen. That's right. Listen to LGBTQ people. Now, this seems super basic, and I'm not talking about like pumpkin spice latte, basic. I'm talking about easy. It seems easy to do something you should already be doing. And it is, but you'll be amazed at how many people don't really take the time to listen to us.
Azariah: Mmhmm. Sometimes you might feel like you need to ask questions so that you can understand. But you can pick up so much by hearing what we bring up about our identity, about our orientation, about our experiences, about our values and our hopes and our dreams.
Daniel: Sometimes the questions that straight people want to ask don't actually reflect the nuances about our lives. They might be too either or or, or they might use some stereotype in the question. And we aren't talking about who we are, but trying to undo all the bad information about us. That's the point.
Azariah: Yeah. Like we don't wear Marshall's. We read Bob [00:12:00] Mackie. Sometimes folks don't always have the right words to describe how we ident identify or what we we are feeling. They will probably stumble around and not come right out and say it and phrase things badly. Cause you know, they're nervous. Don't worry about jumping in to correct them or end their sentences for them. Just smile and say, I'm here to listen. Please keep going.
Daniel: And later they'll figure out what the right words are and when they know the let you know.
Azariah: Yeah. And the second tip goes right along with the first one, believe LGBTQ people. Maybe you suspected that your child was. But instead they told you they were bisexual or non-binary. It's not what you were expecting, but they are sharing an important part of their identity. You have to trust that they are [00:13:00] telling you the truth about themselves.
Daniel: After all they know their feelings and their identity better than you do.
Azariah: Yeah. And believing people goes beyond just what their sexual orientation or gender identity is. You might learn some details about their life that you maybe didn't want to know or didn't expect, but you need to believe us when we tell you about the good and bad parts of our lives.
Daniel: Sure. Yeah. Maybe someone is single and celibate and you think they should be out dating and whoring it up. It's not your place.
Azariah: Maybe they'll tell you a traumatic experience that they've had- discrimination, sexual assault. A lot of LGBTQ people experienced sexual assault. You need to believe this too. It's so important.
Daniel: And the third major tip is stand up for LGBTQ people, even when you don't have to.
Azariah: Yeah. Queer people face invasive [00:14:00] questions, exclusion, stereotypes, and all sorts of crap all the time. Of course, being an ally means you won't perpetuate that harmful behavior, but it also means you can step in when someone else is doing problematic behavior. You can confront someone who is being a bigot, but you can also distract them or pull them aside later, such as in our gay Christian news segment with city point Christian college and in Australia, there was a comedian, um, you know, he's family. So, but he did what a straight ally can do. He stepped in and started speaking out.
Daniel: The important thing is that you speak up. You're speaking from a place of power and privilege. And I love having that power on our side girl.
Azariah: Yes, we do. And use your powers for good daddy.
Daniel: I feel like those first three tips were pretty pumpkin spice latte, pretty basic, but they're also pretty heavy. Being an ally [00:15:00] isn't just work. It could also be fun.
Azariah: Yeah. Go thrifting with us. It can be fun. One thing you can do is send stuff you think your queer friend would appreciate. Of course you should show them well enough that the gifts would be appropriate for them. But imagine seeing a meme that makes you think of your bisexual best friend and passing it along. Imagine finding a fabulous broach that you think would be stunning on your queer sex positive non slut-shaming podcast, home host Azariah Southworth.
Daniel: Or imagine sharing some news about what's happening in the world with a note saying, can you believe this? Or I thought you might love to hear this.
Azariah: This actually brings up another great tip for allies. Read some LGBTQ news.
Daniel: Yeah, queer stories rarely break into mainstream media. We mentioned at the top of this episode that there's been a lot of attacks on LGBTQ people, but mostly people don't realize it.
Azariah: I mean, it's understandable. The political news has been a mess. The [00:16:00] Kardashians are always a mess and up to some shenanigans, it's hard to keep up.
Daniel: For example, some states in the United States have been rushing to pass bans on transgender youth getting to participate in high school sports. Is your state one of them? Probably, but you won't hear about it until it's too late.
Azariah: Another bill has been one that would allow doctors, pharmacists, and any medical professional to refuse to treat LGBTQ people. Can you imagine if that happened to you? If you were to go to the pharmacy and the pharmacist says, oh, you're straight. I'm sorry, I can't give you this life saving medicine or I can't treat you.
Daniel: LGBTQ themed books are being censored from schools and libraries.
Azariah: Did you know these things were happening in the U S in your state? It's very possible you haven't, but it's time to get informed.
Daniel: It's not just enough to shake your head. We need you to do something, but there aren't enough of us to stop them. We need our [00:17:00] allies to take a stand.
Azariah: And what does taking a stand look like? Here's a list of ideas. Show up at your town council and school board meetings. Be a faithful presence and speak up when you need to. You know, a little side story. When I was living in Fort Wayne, Indiana, the city council was considering a bill that would give protection to transgender individuals in public housing. So like getting a hotel room for the night, um, in employment and other areas. And, um, I met one of my good friends Thad, and we ended up going around collecting signatures just to show the city council the support for this in our committee. And it was so comforting and nice that there were some straight people there, some straight allies. And that meant a lot to the majority of us LGBTQ people who were, uh, occupying the room. So, uh, it, it matters. It really does. [00:18:00] Another thing you can do. Write a letter to the editor, call your legislators, both state and federal. And then I'll give a shout out and, and, and many, many flowers to my, my straight ally friend, Dawn, who does this. And she actually will send text messages to us saying, Hey, you need to call your state and federal legislator because of this, you know, so flowers to Dawn.
And here's another. You can even visit your legislators. Did she know this?
Daniel: Do you know that's one of the things that I found so like eye opening about getting involved in anything in DC, like during, during aids watch and doing stuff with Elizabeth Taylor aids foundation is that you can just go up to your legislators and sign in or make an appointment and go visit them. I was like, it's this easy to have these kinds of conversations? And I saw going years and years, cause I think I went six times over the years before they started being virtual for COVID. Um, I saw over years and years, things that we spoke to them about getting on HIV caucuses, uh, you know, uh, getting them to, uh, [00:19:00] support certain bills and I've seen them actually follow through with things because we informed them about it. You think that one person can't make a huge difference, but they absolutely can.
Azariah: Absolutely. And here's, here's a tip because I approach legislators whenever I see them and there's an important bill concerning LGBTQ causes or something that I I'm aware of, and I think they need to be made aware of. Be ready for a prepared answer from them and don't let them wiggle their way out of it with just their prepared statement, right? So be ready for that as well. And, and, and humanize it, put, put your own touch on, on your, on your message to them.
Daniel: Yeah. A lot of times that's one of the things that they coach us about, um, which I think is very helpful is attaching a real story of someone you know or yourself that goes along with what you're speaking about. Um, human beings matter. And, and, and you're [00:20:00] essentially talking to human beings, even if they are a politician, so you can connect on their heartstrings if you're talking about something that's near and dear to you.
Which brings us to the next point, because a lot of this happens at home, right, Azzie?
Azariah: Yes. So talk to that homophobic or transphobic uncle and tell him why his comments are harmful.
Daniel: Another great moment of solidary is to patronize LGBTQ owned businesses -who doesn't love a little pink ice cream?
Azariah: I do. We've talked about the fights over Chick-Fil-A and they're homophobic waffle fries. No matter how delicious they are, don't eat there okay? Don't do it. Instead, go to hamburger Mary's or something else.
Daniel: Same thing with hobby lobby. I don't, I haven't even been in those places when I hear about a lot of the stuff that they contribute. You can easily find out which companies support the LGBTQ plus community, which, and which ones are just pandering and which ones are actively working against the community.
Azariah: Yeah. And also don't be afraid [00:21:00] to let those people know who are knowingly, intentionally standing up for institutions and organizations that perpetuate homophobia and transphobia, let them know how it's harmful as well. You can also work to make your church welcoming. We've talked about this in a separate episode and it's conveniently called make your church welcomingAF. It's a great one to equip you to do the work to make your church a welcoming place for all God's little queer children.
Daniel: Look, we love our allies and we need more of you in our lives. We hope that this little checklist can help you be the best ally you can be.
Azariah: Yeah. Be like my friend, Dawn, be a great outlet. Thank you for being an ally.
Daniel: Oh, Azzie I love that you're singing is so off that we don't have to pay royalties. For our tithe love offering charity act of good.
Azariah: Remember our gay Christian news. Our [00:22:00] friend Anthony van brown is doing this constant LGBTQ Christian work in Australia. And he has been for years. You should check out his work through his organization, ambassadors and bridge builders international.
Daniel: You want an acronym? It's ABBI. So close to Abba you dancing queen, but with an I. All that's missing is the I in it. Uh, you can visit his website at abbi.org.au. And listen, if you are a singer that sounds even one little notch, better than Azzie, you can be part of our song of praise, act of praise. We want to spread the love to other Christians and artists. So if you're a queer Christian musician and you want us to play one of your songs, well, then you send us an email at email@example.com with the link where we can find MP3 files of the song that you want us to consider.
So now, please, if you don't mind bow your heads for the closing prayer, unless you're driving cause Jesus can't actually take the wheel. [00:23:00] God, father God, in the highest we give you thanks and praise for the straight allies in our lives. We need those friends and family members who stand up for us when we need it. We appreciate them and we want to lift them up. We know it's not easy. It's not easy to make a stand, especially when it doesn't feel like their cause, but they have skin in the game cause they've got us and you have helped us build them into our family. So give them the strength and the wisdom and the right words to say when standing up for us. We'd like to pray also for all of those people at city point, especially the LGBTQ students who are getting expelled and are now welcomed back home, I guess. Um, that's gotta be a difficult transition, but we'd like to just have so much gratitude for the people and the allies and the queer people who spoke out and signed the petition. We just want you to continue Lord to open up the school [00:24:00] leaders hearts, and minds away from persecution and towards love and acceptance.
Azariah: And we pray for Jess. Let them stand up for themselves. When they find themselves surrounded with judge-y Christians, Jess needs your strength Lord. And thank you God. For Simon's uniqueness. We see your unique fingerprints on their life and we give praise for that. In the holy precious name of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Daniel: I would say amen. But I want to say PS 10 to Dawn the ally. To Dawn in your precious name. Amen. I wanted to squeeze Dawn in there Azzie, don't forget about Dawn. And thank you Azzie for joining me and thank everyone for listening to another episode of Yass Jesus. You can find us on [00:25:00] social media @yassjesuspod or on our website at yassjesuspod.com. Now, if you like the show, please consider becoming a monthly sponsor. You can find the link to do so in the show notes. And if you haven't yet leave us a review, five stars please. We made it. Or share us with a friend. Azzie loves being shared with friends. Doing so helps us reach new people and keeps this show running.
Azariah: You can see it on my alt Twitter. You can now leave an audio prayer request or praise report on our website., yassjesuspod.com. We would love to share your voice and your prayers on the show. So drop us a line or send us a recording on yassjesuspod.com.
Daniel: Send us your praise reports, your prayer requests, episode ideas, guest ideas, or even just a, how can they be an ally or it'd be fine if you're like what's Azzie's finsta? we'd love to hear from you. So Yass Jesus is hosted by me, Danny Franzese, and..
Azariah: And the delicious and juicy Azariah Southworth. Music, sound editing and all things audio are done by Chris Heckman. Our show is produced by the [00:26:00] freakin deacon Ross Murray. Special thanks to Sophie Serrano and Sam Isfan.
Daniel: Yass Jesus is brought to you by Audity. Audity execs are Ryann Lauckner, Jessica Bustillos, and Steve Michaels. We are streaming and screaming and preaching and teaching on apple podcast, Spotify, and wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget folks...
Azariah: god loves you as you are.
Daniel: So keep praising the Lord, gaybies.